Insights
June 23, 2026
Warning for Illinois Parents: 4 Legal Mistakes to Avoid When Your Child Turns 18
Legal Documents Every Young Adult Should Put in Place Before Departure Day
If your child is headed off to college or their gap year of travel; congratulations! You have survived 18+ years of sports, juggling schedules, so many paper animal flavored school projects, permission slips, snack duty, and the emotional roller coaster of raising a vibrant teenager. Now, your job as a parent is shifting into “slightly less chaotic,” and the law says to your young adult: surprise, you are an adult now!
The truth really is that simple: when a child turns 18, they are still your child, but the law treats them as an adult. Doctors, professors, banks, schools, and businesses have to honor the young adult’s privacy and legal rights to carry on their own lives and choices as they see fit. That means that a parent who has spent 18+ years solving this child’s problems big and small, can suddenly find themselves standing outside the room, unable to get information or updates, unable to make decisions, or unable to help their beloved child in the ways they always have.
In an emergency, that helpless-to-help status can be terrifying.
The Luckiest Lady.
I once helped a family whose daughter was admitted to an emergency room in a southern state during summer break after she was a victim of a serious car accident on her way back to her apartment after work. She was in a coma for two days. Her parents were not listed on updated emergency contacts, there was no medical history on file, and there was no health care agent or power of attorney indicated in her local or school’s medical records.
Thankfully, this young lady recovered enough in a couple of days to be able to communicate her parents’ information – her entire family immediately rushed to her side. She and her parents worked with me and we created the proper documents according to her wishes so they could assist her with medical decisions, therapies, insurance payments, facility transfers, student loan deferments, and her physical and mental recovery – with their frequent and extensive involvement over the next couple of years – facilitated largely by the documents that we created for them.
That story is not unusual. It is what can happen without this simple planning.
The Myth.
“I’m their parent – of course they will let me help – they have to let me help!”
No, sadly, no. Whether you call your young adult’s doctor, try to access their records, file their taxes from their part-time summer job, or step in to handle a conversation about a lease dispute with their landlord, you’re likely to get pushback and legally, that’s appropriate. To believe you will be able to help is a loving assumption but it is usually wrong.
Their privacy is protected just like yours. If they want you to help, they need to give you written authority to do so. That does not mean you love them any less and it doesn’t mean they need you any less. It means that the law honors their adult autonomy and privacy rights – as it should. Let’s get into the details.
So, Let’s Get Down to Business.
If your young adult wants you to be able to step in and help them if they need you, these are the foundational documents to discuss and execute.
1. Financial Power of Attorney
This document allows the young adult to name someone to act as their agent — often a parent — to help handle financial and property matters, if needed.
This can be especially helpful when a young adult is away at school or traveling:
- a bank needs identity verification
- tuition or housing paperwork needs attention
- a financial account issue or credit card issue comes up
- a signature is needed and the young adult is out of state
2. Health Care Power of Attorney
This document allows the young adult to name someone as a health care agent to assist with health care decisions, especially if they are incapacitated. The person selected as an agent should be somebody that will actually honor the young adult’s wishes and not feel emotionally overburdened carrying out those choices. This choice of agent can be a delicate choice and deserves to be discussed very candidly.
This document also gives their agent access to private medical information, including HIPAA-protected records, to the extent authorized by law. That matters because in a real emergency, parents often need more than reassurance — they need information and they need the power to share that information for the young adult.
3. Advance Medical Directive / Living Will
This document tells doctors or care providers what the young adult wants regarding end-of-life medical treatment and other serious care decisions. In short, this document makes the adult’s desires known, in writing, so their family can honor their wishes.
Most parents and young adults do not want to think about this terrible possible scenario – and that is exactly why it should be addressed now, before anyone is in crisis. A good tip for confronting these topics is to use a little humor and discuss possible scenarios of what you would and would not want to see happen if disaster strikes.
4. Simple Will
If the young adult has any property of value titled only in their name — even something modest like a car, bank account, or personal property with sentimental or financial value — a simple will may be appropriate and needed in order to properly transfer their property if they should pass away. Some property can be transferred by adding a joint account holder or naming a transfer on death beneficiary – but that’s highly circumstantial and no single piece of advice is right for everybody.
A young adult does not need to be wealthy to need a will. They just need to own something they care about in their name.
Independence is More Fun with a Safety Net!
Independence is so cherished by your young adult and they cannot wait to exercise it! This planning is not about taking away independence from your young adult. It is about protecting it and making young adult life more peaceful – providing their safety net.
A young adult can still make their own decisions. They can still live their own life. They can still be the boss of their own Starbucks order, they can manage their own laundry, their own dorm room drama, their own itinerary switches, their own speeding tickets, and their shopping spree debt.
However, if they want their parents to help in a medical emergency, with a financial issue, or with other important matters, the authority for anybody besides them to handle it, has to be in writing. That is not just a legal technicality – it amounts to peace of mind for the young adult and for parents.
The Conversation.
Before your young adult child heads off on their next great adventure, have a conversation that sounds something like this: “We are not trying to control your life. We are trying to make sure we can help you if something goes wrong. If you give us (or someone else) permission to be your safety net by getting these documents completed, we can sleep at night and not call you three times every day to make sure you’re still alive, you’re going back to your dorm room, and you’re eating your vegetables.” (I may be projecting – but you get the gist – it’s really in their best interest to have you as their backup when life gets hairy).
That conversation, in whatever form you have it, can change everything.
The Guts of It All.
Then review with your young adult:
- Who should be named as their agent for the financial power of attorney?
- Who should be named as their agent for the health care power of attorney?
- Where will the signed documents be kept?
- Who gets copies? They should be shared with the parents (or the agents named), the young adult, and any backup decision-makers.
- Does the young adult’s school or employer have its own privacy forms or emergency contact requirements? If so, get those completed and signed.
- Should the young adult’s health insurance and medical providers be updated and how (Via MyChart? Primary Care Provider? Local School Clinic?)
Legal Protection, with Love.
Turning 18 is a milestone worth celebrating. It means your child is growing up, gaining independence, and building a life of their own. It also means their legal status changed overnight. If your young adult child wants you to help them while they are away or even if they are still staying at home with you, the time to plan is now — not after the ambulance ride and not after their university health clinic says it cannot share their information without their written consent.
You love your child, you want to be there for them when they need you most – make the paperwork match the reality. When your young adult child needs you, the legalities of their age should not be the painful thing standing in the way. Pave the path for a peaceful transition to your young adult’s independence.